One of the biggest changes in the past years has been that I more and more often sit with my emotions. Instead of numbing them with food, Netflix or whatever avoidance method was available to me. When we feel down, it may seem like the ultimate goal to feel up and happy again. But I discovered that it’s not the best way to look at that situation at all. Only by sitting with your emotions, letting them arrive and be, can they at some point also leave you(r body) again. But it’s hard. And it’s therefore not strange that (probably?) most of us seek comfort in less healthy ways.
If you’re open to consciously sitting with your emotions, I hope the quick little guide below will help you to get started. I can imagine if you’ve never done the ‘sitting with your emotions’ thing, you might feel a little bit confused about what this means exactly. What it looks like. So here you go, a little guide from me to you. You can make it your own, and make changes wherever you want if it feels more fitting to you / your life.
Keep in mind: the guide is very simple... following it is not (always) easy.
1. In general, it’s best to sit with your emotions by yourself. This way you’re not distracted by anyone else. And this way you decrease the chance that you feel like you have to hold back on outing your emotions.
2. Find a space (to sit) that feels comfortable. A room that feels safe.
3. Just to clarify… no distractions means NO distractions. So put that phone away.
4. And now… sit (or stand, or lay down – depending on what you feel like doing). This may feel strange. To just sit there without doing anything at all. But do it anyway and see if anything comes up. Certain emotions. Certain thoughts, maybe.
5. Every feeling or thought you have is valid. You can’t do it wrong. Remember that. Whatever comes up – welcome it. And if nothing really comes up, but you feel a bit uncomfortable, that’s also completely fine. It is good, actually. Don’t go looking for distractions when you feel uncomfortable or when you’re not sure what to do with yourself. Stay in that feeling.
6. If you feel like you need to move your body in a certain way, or make certain sounds, PLEASE listen to these urges. Stand up. Shake your arms. Cry. Scream. Breath loud. I can’t tell you how relieved I felt whenever I did this. Don’t worry for a second about what you look or sound like. Nobody cares. You’re doing SO great.
7. And lastly, I would advice to sit like this for at least ten minutes. Really take the time to see what comes up. Even if you feel like not a lot comes up, it’s powerful that you just sit with yourself.
I hope this helps anyone a bit. You always come out stronger, I’m sure about that <3
Love,
Lobke