My relationship with self-development is a typical love-hate one. I believe it can bring you incredible things, but at the same time it can also leave you feeling broken. Like you need to be fixed. The problem with this is that once something is fixed, you will realize there’s a next part of yourself or your life that (you feel like) needs fixing. And then a next one, and then some more.
Now, let me shortly touch on the loving relationship I have with self-development, because I can definitely feel how it contributed to me feeling more chill with myself and me handling my emotions in a better way. And to being more open-minded, positive, and true to myself. Which I’m ridiculously thankful for. Self-development has made me more loving towards myself and others, and I’m glad for that.
But.
It’s not something I like to get too caught up in. If you’ve been emerging yourself into self-development, it can be SO helpful and meaningful to sometimes take a step back and look at yourself with an accepting eye of who you are, right here right now. Stare into that mirror and see YOU with all your imperfections and all the things that you feel like you could do better. You are already whole. And if you want to change something, I will never not support you working on that since I know it can make your life better. But standing still and just being, existing… is often more than enough.
The times that I took a step back, didn’t have to be or do anything, lived in the moment feeling content to the max, were some of my happiest moments. In a world full of self-help books and limitless courses about how to become ‘a better version’ of you, it’s easy to let the feeling of needing to always be thriving for more and better get to you. But you’re doing fine. We’re all broken and we’re all not at the same time. And in some way accepting what is (and maybe still wanting change; it can exist at the same time) and practicing with that… is one of the purest forms of self-development.
Love,
Lobke